Yes, You Are The Problem, But You Are The Only Solution

"You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution" ~ Bob Proctor

This is a hard truth. I really don't want to skim over the depth and power of this statement. Take a second to digest this one. Cough up any resistance and then swallow nice and easy. I'll share my ponderings on this statement which can at first seem like a rude oversimplification but with further contemplation reveals the power of taking responsibility for ourselves and our one, precious life in pursuit of healing and transformation.

The essence of this message is that you learn through experience rather than grasp through face value alone. I share it with you as a powerful redirection whenever things feel as if they're happening TO you rather than FOR you. In those murkier life moments, your Higher Self is faint and unclear as you ruminate on how the circumstances outside of you solely determined your fate. For instance, as simple as the weather ruining your entire day to your boss is the reason you're stuck in a dead-end job to even your unmet need for love and connection falling solely into the lap of your spouse, partner, or friend. You may feel powerless and utterly hopeless, but this reframe reminds you that you're truly much more powerful than you might give yourself credit for or even would like to admit. Or perhaps you only acknowledge your power in the "good" moments and disown yourself in the "bad" - which is quite natural and understandable, but what if you might own it all? I'm talking about radical responsibility feeding into deeper self-love.

I believe that people and situations presented to us, at times perceived as problems, are our biggest mirrors and teachers as to what's actually going on inside of us on a deep and hidden level. It's an invitation for healing on deeper levels than we could've imagined or even consciously knew we needed. For example, that person you flicked off or cursed at in your head for cutting you off in traffic is offering you an opportunity for healing through self-examination and taking responsibility for your own mental, emotional, and behavioral role in the upset you're experiencing and continuing to keep alive in your own mind. The charged response that doesn't really match the circumstance is a sign that something deeper wants your attention and tending to, and that this specific person and the traffic aren't really the issue. Everything outside of us is a strong reflection of that which awaits us within - for better or worse - or more wisely put, I'd like to say, for better or for growth. It can be much easier and admittedly natural to outsource our problems through blame, shame, guilt trips, justifications, criticism, and just about anything that points the finger away from ourselves which in turn moves us further away from knowing ourselves. In more cruel and grim moments, we even choose to punch ourselves in the face by putting ourselves down rather than adopting a compassionate approach to actually help ourselves understand and grow. More succinctly, what lies at the heart of this is our perception that there's a problem to begin with, and once we deem something an issue, then how it spirals to impact our internal landscape to create unwarranted reactivity to mask the deeper-rooted wound and pain.

The self-belief, "I am not enough", is carried by all of us whether we like it or not. This fear of inadequacy is a core piece of the collective conscious conditioning and wounding. The more we outsource these unpleasant emotions the more we also outsource our power and capacity for the most pleasant emotions. The immediate gratification gained from this approach robs us of fully grasping what is our role which could support us in rising above or making a new choice and can also completely diminish our self-worth while operating from a place of insecurity. The perceived problem is outside - not within, or if we honor it's from within then it stems from a toxic place of self-loathing. For instance, when we take on excess responsibility and claim everything as our fault like when our children act out or a plan goes to fail. We are upset and react angrily - mostly directed at ourselves. We come from a place of insecurity and a low vibration because it represents our low self-worth as we're quick to carry the weight of the consequences of a perceived failure. And along the way, our self-esteem continues to go out the door. Radical responsibility isn't truly being executed in this instance because we keep claiming and stacking issues as our own when that may do more harm than good by leaving us disempowered. Radical responsibility is a form of self-empowerment through self-discovery and deeper self-love as we seek new opportunities to reclaim parts of ourselves we don't necessarily like and potentially lock away. This self-treatment unfortunately can only widen the gap between what we most desire and what we have through reaffirming the most limiting self-belief of "I am not enough."

Relationships are an especially potent source of embodiment and understanding of this reframe. We can learn through the massive mirroring and inescapable truths that face us head-on - if we're brave enough to look up and then look within. What we often don't like in another is indicative of something within us. A stressful situation that continues to arise without fail hints at an unresolved internal wound, outdated self-belief, low self-worth, or unhealthy pattern of some sort. Just think about it - How many times have you been late to work and blame the red lights but really you chose to snooze numerous times? How often do you continue to complain about someone who keeps dishonoring your boundaries when you don't respect your own boundaries?

This is when we can learn and reprogram ourselves to rise above circumstances through this wisdom. When we start to shift our focus and attention from the endless abyss of the external, even just a tad, then we can claim what it is we want and what is ours - for better or for growth. It's a power to embrace yourself within another you criticize or an unfortunate external circumstance even when it feels diminishing at first. Take for example that quality in another that you repeatedly fuss about whether it's their poor fashion sense or tendency to speak over others in a conversation. How does this quality you fuss about show up in you or might point to hidden beliefs that are blocking what you want in life and are overlooked through the fuss? Otherwise, we can just continue to project onto each other without fail and feel righteous doing so while in fact denying our innermost potential to resolve. Whenever there's a problem, the best thing to do is seek a solution. And in this game of life, oftentimes we can find those resolutions inside of ourselves or even through another who helps mirror something profound if we're strong enough to rise tall and remain humble to the mystery and accountability required in life for massive transformation to take place. One of the greatest gifts in life is to be mirrored in numerous ways through people and circumstances because there's no way to "see" everything about ourselves, and this allows for more interesting and meaningful interactions to transpire.

It's not easy to shift from creating external threats to looking within when discomfort arises as it's actually going against the way we're wired and conditioned as problem-seekers and our innate problem-solving tendencies. I know it's a seemingly simple reframe and it's not intended to overlook or undermine the conscious belief, faith, and effort required to implement and embody its magic, which can move mountains in your life. My offer is to experiment with integrating this lens and applying curiosity in small ways as you start out like when you notice yourself creating "a mountain out of a molehill". This is your opportunity to not add fuel to the internal shame spiral or spit fire at others over the seemingly trivial like burnt food or messes in the kitchen. This is all excellent information and data about yourself and what sends you off, no matter how trivial, they are all avenues to a deeper healing of internal blocks, limitations, traumas, addictions, etc. The connection between our smaller triggers and the larger wound may seem insignificant yet that's where we can make the most impact and most safely claim radical responsibility and personal power.

Life is a matter of decisions. It takes courage and confidence to choose or not choose, but to do neither fosters stagnancy. Using this approach is a choice to help build your character and inner strength, as you choose to look inward using your mind’s eye and not with the beady, judgmental eyes that stare at yourself or another with disgust. You move from Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Who's Projecting on You All? To be the fairest in all the land. You return to your internal home with greater insight into what you need and what must change through unconditional love toward yourself.